Happy 4/20

There's an easy way to tell when you're too drunk. You've had too many drinks, you become impaired, you're stumbling, you're texting your ex, you're crying in the bathroom for no apparent reason, you're throwing up. Getting drunk doesn't sound as fun when you're a grown up.

You've got shit to do. People to do, things to see.

How high is too high?

That question doesn't even really make sense if you don't think about it. Someone passes you a joint after you've already smoked two, you're not going to just say no. That's rude.

Anybody who is willing to share their weed with you should be celebrated. So you grab that joint and you take at least one hit. One good one, ya know.

After you pass it, you're kinda just sitting there. You're friends are having a conversation about whether or not self-driving cars are a good idea. And wondering if there will eventually be some kind of taxi service with these self-driving cars.

It's like in that one Will Smith movie, where all the cars drive themselves and you have time to work and do whatever else. You're just sitting there in the driver's seat doing your thing, and next thing you know you're at your destination.

A lot of it will have to do with how the roads are constructed and whether or not we can find a way to keep trash, debris, and animals away from the street so the self-driving cars aren't confused on whether or not what they're seeing is something they can drive past or something they need to stop for.

In an ideal world for self-driving cars, it would have to be a situation where all the cars on the road were self-driven. There would have to be some type of communication between the cars themselves to let each other know how fast they're going and where they're going so that the car can make decisions ahead of time.

And . . . wait we got off topic. Ok, hold on.

Smoking! Yes. That's what we were talking about. Ok, so you're sitting there and you're friends are smoking a joint and you're listening to them.

You finally are ready to put in your two cents into the conversation and BOOM, another joint is in rotation again. Are these guys joking? Like are they trying to get you to a new level of high? Do they hate you or something? Nah.

As you sit there looking at your friend handing you the joint, you're about to say no and next thing you know you're taking another puff. Four joints in, you damn pothead. How did you get here?

But like really, how did you get here? Just a couple years ago, you had a completely different group of friends. One's who didn't smoke you out. They were like "Are you going to drop on it?"

Drop on it?! Is this a fucking pool where everyone pitches in to try to win the lottery and split it up? No. It's weed, dude. And you had friends who were asking you to drop some money? Wow, that's fucked up.

Imagine you're at your friends house for dinner. As they're making the food they're like "Hey this chicken cost me $11 and the potatoes cost $5 and the veggies cost $8. Can you drop $5 on a plate?"

That's your friend? Nah, that's not your friend. They probably never even smoked weed before. And if they did, take away they're weed privileges.

Smoking weed is all about sharing. Sharing stories, experiences, water, conspiracy theories, snacks, water, weed, water, weed.

Treat this 4/20 like it's Christmas. Gather your friends, family, and someone who could use some love and smoke some weed. Wear your comfiest clothes and take a load off. Roll ten fucking joints, who cares? It's Weed Christmas.

And if they don't smoke weed, just give them an edible. They'll be fine, they're not going to die.